Compassion for Yourself

Having compassion towards yourself, being kind to yourself, can at times be very difficult.  Sometimes, at work I can become very stressed with the sheer volume of work that needs to get done.       I can also get very stressed because things aren't going as smoothly as I'd like.  Especially when an error pops up.  I get extremely stressed.  These last few weeks I've had a few things come up that upset me.  Partially my error, and partially not.  The thing is that I dwell too much on what is wrong, and my self confidence plummets.

It is during these times that I need to be aware of what's going on internally.  I need to remind myself to stop with the down talk, and be a little bit kinder to myself.  It's a good opportunity to practice compassion towards yourself and remind yourself of all the good that you are, and let go of the moments that are causing you grief.

I find this very difficult.  However, if I keep resetting my mindset by being intentionally aware of what is going on internally and make a concerted effort to change that negative self talk, I can overcome this obstacle.  It doesn't happen overnight, but little bit by little bit, I feel a change.  Stress ever so slowly leaves the body, and self acceptance comes back.

It's a work in progress.  But the key is to be kind to yourself.  If somebody else had made the error, you wouldn't be that hard on them, so treat yourself as you would others . . .being compassionate to yourself is integral to having compassion for others.  If you can't give yourself compassion, how can you give it to somebody else . . .

Sand Mandala - Kathmandu, Nepal

Practice a Little Bit of Self Discipline

Monks getting their daily food rations.

The ability to show compassion in difficult circumstances can be difficult.  It's a work in progress - always.

I've noticed lately that when I let myself indulge in too many things, like eating way to many candy, or other junk food, or letting myself slack and not go to the gym, or being lazy and hanging out too much on the computer, without really doing anything, I notice that everything starts to slide.

By not practicing self discipline in my daily life,  it becomes easier for my thoughts to 'take control'.  And when my thoughts start to accumulate strength, I become a weaker person.  It's harder to get back on track with the things that are important to me, and I start to do more of the things that create negativity in my life.

There is a definite correlation between practicing a certain amount of self discipline in my daily routine that builds my inner strength and allows me to be more intentional in my actions.

Being strong in my mind, helps me find the ability to show compassion and kindness in difficult circumstances.  In order to be strong in mind, one must be able to harness the mind and direct its energy in a positive way.  I find this easier when I practice a little bit of self control in my daily living.

Changing Your Mindset

One of the things that I like to do is trail running.  I run with a running group and this Sunday was a huge challenge for me.  I've been off from running for a few months and just started getting back into running Mid December, with a consistent effort in January.  This week our long Sunday run consisted of hill repeats for 3 hours.

Amazing day we had!

By my second descent my coach asked me how I was doing, and I said to her, flat out 'I can't do 3 hours of this'.  She said that's fine, just do your best, and if you feel you've done enough then just do the out and back to Clifton Rd and get your three hours in.  I thought oh what a relief, and continued my descent.

Long steep climb!

On the descent an interesting mind shift happened.  I was no longer thinking about 'three hours of brutal torture', but rather that my new plan was just taking it one repeat at a time, and checking in with myself at the start of each repeat, and asking myself can you do another one, or do do you need to take the out and back.  I'm happy to report that I made 6 repeats in total, and completed all 3 hours!!

All this happened simply because I shifted my mindset, and started to break down the big challenge into a series of smaller ones.

Changing my mindset to overcome challenges etc is something I am familiar with, but sometimes, it's easy to get caught up in the pain or the stress that the here and now is presenting.  Sometimes we need a little bit of a reminder that if you change your outlook, you change your circumstances.  This is a very powerful tool that can be used to dispel feelings of inadequacy, fear, discomfort etc and replace them with happiness, courage, acceptance and perseverance.

Changing our point of reference. Also allows us to become more compassionate people towards one another, ourselves and our circumstances.  Try to remember that and use this tool the next time you have an opportunity to change you way of thinking to the better!

Sharing Compassion

What is it with all these sayings and 'posters' that are disguised as positive vibes.  You know the ones that suggest that there are people that drain you and you should keep them out of you life.  

Do these have anything to do with compassion and kindness?  And if they don't, does intentionally cutting somebody out of your life generate happiness . . . for anyone?

What if some people just don't have the ability to generate enough goodwill, positive feelings and joyful moments for themselves?  Is it the responsibility of people that can generate enough, and then some, to pass it around?  And then in doing so, it would no longer be required to cut loose those people that can't generate it for themselves, but perhaps it could be an act of kindness or compassion by those that have enough to give  it away.  It's a balancing act between protecting yourself, and being compassionate in these circumstances.

The Dalai Lama says:  "Cultivating care and concern for others gives rise to a kind of inner strength.  No matter what difficulties or problems you face, in this wider context the'll seem less significant and troubling to you.  The inner strength, self confidence and courage you gain by focussing on others needs, instead of your own, brings with it a deep calm sense of satisfaction."